You know how you see those work from home images with a person on a beach or by the pool with their laptop. Working from home is supposed to be relaxing and wonderful and give you free time and freedom. If you’ve ever worked from home or worked around having a family then you know it’s anything but relaxing. I’m not sure why they show those photos. Starting out working from home was interesting and fun and a good way to bring in extra income. But over the years as the family has grown and responsibilities at home have, there has been less time to work unless I want to go to bed at 1 every night. And I’ve known that my most important work isn’t paid or what the outside world sees.
Each year for the last few years I’ve thought that particular year would be my last year trying to juggle it all. I’ve imagined my last blog post going live. But somehow I make it through another year and then another. So I can’t say this will be last year working from home but the days I totally ignore my blog and get on with home life are my favourite. Things get done, the house looks nicer, everyone is happy and I can mostly keep on top of things. If the blog is going well and things are in on time then the rest of the house is falling apart. It’s just the way things are.
From the outside looking after a family 24/7 might look boring, monotonous and old fashioned. I’m sure when people look at large families they think how on earth (or why on earth) do you look after everyone and everything. And the truth is that there is so much pressure now on families of every size. Pressures to have money just to have a house or even rent a house and cover the bills. It makes me sad how many families are struggling. With expenses, lack of support, the rising cost of living, disability, unhappy marriages, unfaithful partners, tragedy or health issues. I know there are people who really want to stay home to raise a family just as they imagined but the pressures are too much or family life isn’t turning out as they expected.
But it doesn’t matter if you stay home or work outside the home. Putting your family first before work and other commitments will bring rewards in the long term. Sometimes you just can’t see it through the busyness of everyday life. But take a minute to think about what really is the most important thing in your life and it isn’t your job or possessions but the people around you. I do think the media presents an image of having it all. Being a successful woman isn’t someone who just raises her family or serves other people out of the goodness of her heart. But she is supposed to have her successful business on the side or a career. But really that makes me sad because our greatest work is raising children to be great people and we can’t ignore that wonderful work. It has always been my vocation in life to be married and raise a family. For some people it’s serving others. Don’t forget what you imagined when you were growing up. Don’t forget what it was like to be a child as you raise your own.
On Good Friday I really wanted us to attend stations of the cross and the 3pm service. But after spending all but 10 minutes outside with the little ones we had to decide to split up in the afternoon. I’d do the Saturday night vigil which I love with its 50 million readings (ok about 7 but the kids think its 50 million) and dad and a big kid went to the 3pm good Friday service
And as I was playing outside I felt bad that I wasn’t at church. That I wasn’t a good person because I wasn’t there when I should be at this most important time of year. And I did remind myself something that I often remind myself with. All of the little things that we do for our children do not go unnoticed. The meals we cook, the floors we clean, the clothes we fold (or leave to sit in the basket until we get to it), the hugs we give, the nappies we change and the little (and not so little) jobs that we do within our homes and families are always noticed by our God. I was pushing the little ones on the swing, running around the garden and caring for them and that is good work in itself.
Sometimes we expect gratitude or a thank you and it doesn’t always come. Sometimes we wish we had more ‘me’ time or could do something outside of the house but it’s just not the right time for it. But the most beautiful and rewarding work is raising a family and even if it doesn’t always feel that way it really is. When I make it to heaven I want to know that I did my best, that I raised good children to the best of my ability and served my family with my whole heart.
Last night I was reading my bible (something I should do more of) and then one by one the 3 older ones asked for a bible so they could read the Easter story. I was thinking to myself well my work here is done. And also reminded that we lead by example and have the opportunity as parents to help our children live good lives, know that there is more to our lives than what we can see and know that someone in heaven loves them more than they can imagine. I hope you have a special Easter with your families and loved ones and use this time to remember why we are here and our purpose in life.
“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”. He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” (Matthew 18: 1-5)
“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:10-11)
Beautifully said. My thoughts exactly thankyou for putting them out there for all to read. God bless
Now you’ve got me crying Corrie…beautiful words saying it all! A Happy Easter to you and your Family xo
Beautiful sentiments Corrie, may your Easter be filled with love and good.
Gosh Corrie this would have to be the best post you have ever written! I am a fellow Christian and stay at home mum. In Christ Alone would have to be my favourite modern hymn. Keith and Kristyn Getty wrote it. Have a listen to their version (wonderful). Their other music is amazing also.
Happy Easter to you and your family!
Beautiful. I used to be a Head Teacher and applying for Deputy Principal positions. Then one day 5 years ago now I asked myself what was I doing, what did I want. I then left to be with my kids more. I casual teach now at the local high school 3 minutes away from home. I get to take the kids to school and pick them up at the end of the day. I’m home to help with homework and attend as many school things that I can. I still get asked how could you leave that job to be a casual teacher. They just look at me funny when I say to be with my kids more. But what about your career? is always their next question. Having a happy settled family is now my career. Corrie have a beautiful Easter with your family and God Bless you.
These heart warming words on staying home and looking after your family means a lot to me. I left my career to have children because at the time I felt I had given enough of myself to the community and it was time for me to turn inwards and look after my growing family. I often feel that people are a little judgemental of that but I really don’t think taking a decade out of my whole life to stay at home is that big in the scheme of a life time of employed work. I do see myself as a feminist by staying home and cooking and knitting and sewing and gardening. Thank you for these Easter sentiments and reflections.
Wish I lived nearby. I would try to get you to invite me for tea and cake. I am taking a year off to help my family settle in after a big move. I love slowing life down. I will go back to work, but part-time so I can have the best of both worlds. I am in awe of your energy. What a lovely family. Your fellow twin-mom, Vicki
I wish you that you and your wonderful big family have a beautiful happy Easter Corrie. Happiness is never about money, it is good health and lots of good company xx
Corrie, I am not (at all) christian but I just wanted to tell you your words really resonated with me. I am at a bit of a crossroads with juggling work and family, and I actually HAVE spent this Easter resetting my compass towards what is most important – and the answer is of course caring for my family and raising children to be wonderful humans. I just need to incorporate earning an income with that! Blessings to you and your beautiful family x
Beautiful post, thank you for sharing
Happy Easter and God bless!
Well said Corrie, love this post
Oahu..and Happy Easter to you and all your family
You are so right Corrie – the most important work is raising your family. And trying to do everything leads to the “martyr” complex – which happened to me a few times until I realized that it was me who had to change. I work now my kids are older (20 – 26 years old) and they need help with university tuition. But I took a lot of time off when they were younger and moved we moved all over the place because of the military. Sometimes our worst fault is judging ourselves too harshly – I didn’t do this or that or make whatever from scratch. Who cares – there are mixes when things get too scattered (even gluten free) and I refuse to apologize. I wouldn’t judge a friend for bringing a boxed cake to a potluck – why would I be hard on myself. Nice post Corrie – and a good reset button. Never worry if there are gaps in posting – we know you’re busy. Happy Easter
Happy Easter Corrie and family.
Don’t be so hard on yourself you are doing a good job raising your family. You don’t have to be perfect, better for all to have a happy mum than a show house!
Take care of your self, blog when you have time family comes first!
Hi Corrie, thank you for your post, well said, and brave too. xx
Thanks so Much Corrie! That was just what I needed to hear right now:)
Brilliant post. I have been neglecting my blog because I am busy with work and family. What matters in the end is that family is priority because everything else can wait. God bless you and happy belated Easter!!
I am a single mum, had my 1st and only child at 46. Yeah, I don’t have a husband who brings home $250kpa. I now work from home since lost my job 3 years ago. Every day, I thank my Heavenly Father, His for grace and provision is more than sufficient. I love being a stay home mum, something I ever dreamt of when I was young. My business allows me to work from home (part-time), and so far it has replaced my income as a full-time qualified accountant. I feel very blessed!
Corrie, thank you for this post.
I agree with everything that you have mentioned and I worry what will happen as some have less and less time focused on family time. But in the end, every mother is doing the very best she can and we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back for our efforts. I don’t like the pressure placed on mother’s to work outside the home – sometimes from other mothers. I have made the scary leap back into full time work ( school hours ) and it has gone better than I had predicted. My kiddies are a bit older now too. I often think teaching my children right from wrong is my greatest achievement in life. Well done to all mums out there. I hope you had a wonderful Easter, Corrie. Thank you for your blog. x
Corrie this is so honest and beautiful. Being someone who struggled (and still sometimes struggles) with giving up a career for raising my family, I think we need more women to speak up about the unseen value in caring for others. It’s encouraging to each other. And we all need to be encouraged. We’re only human.
As a single, male, partying work colleague of mine once said to me when I grumbled one difficult, morning sickness riddled morning at work:
“You’re doing the most important (and coolest) thing in the world- you’re raising the next generation of human beings”.
I come back to those words on a particularly difficult day.
God Bless You.