when I grow up – one emotional day

Today I sent my baby girl off to big school for the first time. It rates right up there as one of the most emotional days I’ve had in a long time. We weren’t even 5 minutes from home and I was already fighting back the tears listening to the radio. I’m still emotional now. It’s official. She’s at school. I have 4 at school, 1 at preschool and everyone is growing up on me.

We chose her school based on warm fuzzy feelings, caring staff and reputation and that’s about it. We knew it was the best place for her and today cemented that for us as we met warm friendly staff, her wonderful teacher and assistant. She’s in a small class of 9 and yay to have 3 girls in the class (in the world of special needs classrooms there is a big imbalance between boys and girls). It’s a big worry when you send any child off to school but when you send a little one with extra needs you worry and stay up late at night and worry some more. And last week I thought I’d made a big mistake and should have given her another year. I told hubby I’d changed my mind and was keeping her home for another year. But today she was so ready. Put her bag in her spot, went on in there and played happily. She had the best day. Smiles and cuddles confirmed it. I peeked in after morning tea and they were learning the signs to a song and it just reassured me that she’s going to learn just at her level and have fun at the same time.

We were singing this song in the car waiting for her to come out (she loves the Matilda CD) and I think the reality of the day sunk in. Out of the house 5 days a week. My baby girl now off to learn more and become more independent. And growing up. But it’s a happy day because I get to be there every day. A day I’m so glad to be her mum and raise my family. Life is so short and our greatest work as mums is within the walls of our home and the family we are raising. Don’t be fooled or pulled otherwise in today’s modern world. Nothing is more rewarding than raising a family or helping others. Nothing. We all have to make money and a living but don’t put your children and family below work. And the more my family grows and the older they all get (and me, I’m getting old) the more I realise how lucky I’ve been to raise them and nothing will come in the way of that. You can tell it’s been an emotional day. It just hit me like a tonne of bricks today.

When you’re a mum you catch yourself saying you can’t wait until they start school (I’m guilty of saying that especially when I had newborn twins) and then when the day comes you kind of wish you had that extra time back. But it’s life and they are growing up.

I hope all the new mums out there had a great start. I was totally a new mum at the tea & tissues morning tea and then wandering around the shops and park with the other kids waiting for her to finish her half day and worrying about her.

This year my charity of choice through this blog is my daughter’s special school to help fundraise for all the wonderful work they do that relies on donations.