letting go

What a day. I woke up early for Mathilda’s but by the time I reached the bathroom I remembered my mum and the night before. Oh. For almost a minute I was having a good morning. At the market I put on my brave face. Tried to smile, keep happy and not let on where my head and heart was. When Di and Di, two lovely quilters came up to talk and ask how my mum was going I briefly let my guard down. Thank you for those sweet words ladies, they kept me going. My dad had texted me just a little earlier to tell me that it wasn’t good. My mum had taken a little breakfast and was given some morpheine to help her sleep. Friends and family were called in to come and see her, to say their goodbyes.
She hasn’t been able to wake up since about 10ish but she looks so peaceful and is sleeping comfortably. In case you didn’t know I have a direct line to God. Well, no I don’t but I did send a quick email to the lovely Sr Josie at our church asking to have our priest come out and say a little blessing over her. He was there not long after (see, direct line) and his words were so calming, so peaceful and just what was needed in that room. We prayed, he said some beautiful words, we joined together to say the Our Father and Hail Mary and he placed oil on her – in his words to prepare her for the journey. He held her hand and there were lots of tears and shaking shoulders in that room. I don’t think you need to be a person of faith to feel the comfort of those words.
She is unlikely to wake up again but we are grateful that she has no pain, is sleeping and is surrounded by our love. I also feel your love and comforting words and thoughts. They mean so much to me when my heart is breaking right now. My phone will stay next to my bed tonight as the hospital will call us when it is time to say our last goodbyes. And one of my favourite songs on the radio right now is just perfect for where we’re at. Letting go.

Just updating to let you know that she is still with us but the end is very near. I never thought we would get to Tuesday but she’s still with us for a little while longer. We’ve all been keeping a bedside vigil and holding her hand and just being near her. I don’t think she has been left alone in that room since saturday. Thank you again xxxx

Comments

  1. oh sweetie,
    Im so sorry to hear this news.
    holding you close in my heart.

    with love

  2. Bless x

  3. I’m crying so hard for you Corrie. I’ve been where you are and it’s so hard.
    I have no magic words…
    just good thoughts for you and your family…
    xxxCate

  4. I am sending you and your family my love and prayers for this difficult time Corrie. You are a wonderful and caring daughter.

  5. Thinking of you Corrie and your family. Hugs and love

  6. My heart is breaking for you and your family. May you all find the strength and courage to face the next few days. I hope you can take a small amount of comfort in the fact that there are so many bloggers holding you in their thoughts at the moment.

  7. oh corrie my prayers and love to you and your family…dzintra

  8. Thinking of you, dear girl. I’ve been where you are tonight and it is so hard. Lean on retrodaddy, you’ll need him and those beautiful babies so much in the next few weeks. And thank goodness for faith – such a comfort!! Wishing you all well, A.

  9. Corrie my thoughts are with you, they truly are. No words can express how very very sad I am for you. Your family are in my thoughts and may your mum find peace. Hugs xx

  10. I have tears running down my face reading this :-( I feel so sad for you and your family right now… You are in my thoughts Corrie… much love from us all…. xoxox

  11. I am so so sorry. Lots of love xox

  12. Oh Corrie. Sending our love to you and keep your family close at this time. You are so lucky to have such a wonderful mum.

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Thinking of you, your mum, your dad and the rest of your family tonight, and over the coming days.

    Hold each other tight. xx

  15. I had no idea when I chatted with you today. I was going to ask and then we were distracted … I am so very sad for you and your family. She has made you who you are and you are passing that on to your beautiful family. Take comfort in your faith, family and friends who will see you through this difficult time. Julie x

  16. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
    So sorry to hear the news. Praying your mum remains comfortable, and surrounded by the people she loves.
    xx

  17. You’ll always have her in your heart; and when you close your eyes you’ll find her there in your loving memories…. All the best to you and everyone who was touched by her love and friendship.

  18. Oh, Sweetheart. I am so sorry it has come to this. At ;east she’s not in pain. Sending you all my love and ♥♥♥ from Hobart tonight. J x

  19. My prayers are going out for you and your family.

  20. Our prayers are with you and your family. xxx

  21. Thinking of you Corrie…

    Christine

  22. Thinking of you, letting go but also keeping. Cherrie

  23. Sending you lots of love and kind thoughts. Thinking of you. Kris

  24. Thinking of You at this Sad Time..Your Mum is Pain Free & Surrounded by Family & Love ..that’s all she would have asked for.
    You are in my Prayers..sending you lots of love.

  25. I am so sorry Corrie.
    Lots of love. X

  26. Lo siento mucho,pero Dios quiere disfrutar de ella y no podemos hacer nada solo rezar.besos a todos

  27. We all have to go through this its a fact of life, but you are too young to have to say goodbye to your Mum. My heart is breaking for you I know the pain you are feeling. You will get through this and come out of it a stronger person. Big Hugs Corrie.

  28. I know what it is like to lose a mother to illness and it hurts but the best you can do is concentrate, when you can, on the happy memories. God bless you and your family.

  29. We don’t know each other, but I want to share with you that I am sending a prayer for your mum, for all of you who are dear to her… because she is dear to you. Your reflections and sadness touch my heart, and I am sorry for this pain, the sorrow.
    Sometimes the world can feel big and full, yet lonesome. I thought I would share something… something to demonstrate what a small world it actually is, and how connected we can be… Switchfoot is a local band, they give regular benefit concerts in town, they attended the high school here… I love their music. I appreciate how some music can capture the emotions and deep feelings we sometimes cannot fully express. I think you might like to know that they are a great bunch of guys, and that their music comes from a good place.

  30. lots of hugs and love to you and your family corrie.

    x

  31. Thinking of you and your family honey. Praying that your mum has a safe journey.
    K xx

  32. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts. Take care. Hugs xo

  33. oh Corrie i dont know what to say,its heartbreaking.oxox

  34. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” Rev 21:4

    My prayers are with you and your precious family. May you know the peace that passes all understanding. xo

  35. So sorry to hear this, we have just been through this with my aunt. WIll be praying for all of you

  36. So very sorry for your pain, Corrie. Hugs to you.

  37. Surround yourself and your mother with love, and she will live on through you – now and forever

  38. My thoughts are with you. x

  39. Oh Corrie, we were so desperately sad for you this morning, trying so hard to be brave. I was sorry we made you teary when you wanted to be strong. But it was OK to cry. Both of us understood, having recently said goodbye to our own dear fathers. However you DO have a direct line to God and can pour out your heart to him any time you want. I’m sure you already know that because your faith is strong. He has his loving arms around you all tonight. I know. And just look at all your friends here sending up prayers for you, dear Corrie. xxx

  40. I admit I don’t pray very often but right now your family, particularly your beautiful mum, are in my prayers. God is with you. xx

  41. So pleased to hear you were all able to be peaceful with your mother this afternoon. And I am glad you have your faith to sustain you.

  42. So sorry~ sending hugs your way.

  43. What a beautiful song… sending love, strength and prayers dear girl x

  44. I feel so deeply for and with you – remembering just the same situation we were in about 8 years ago. And it still hurts…
    Wishing you strength to cope with everything.

  45. Corrie, tears fall for you, your dad and the rest of your family. Sending you my love and hopefully all of our thoughts and prays lighten the burden just a bit.

  46. I am so sorry corrie :(

  47. Hugs and thinking of you during this time. So glad that you could be with her and she is prepared to go on her journey to God. May she leave this earth safely and you knowcthat you have loving family and friends around you when you need us.

  48. I’ve been reading your blog for some time now and have never commented before but I wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. ‘Letting go’ such simple words but so hard to do, your mum will know your there, so just keep doing what your doing, holding her hand and loving her and letting her know that it’s ok to let go too. Love Melanie x

  49. I am so sorry Corrie.
    Sending you much love and strength xx

  50. Sending hugs.

  51. My thoughts are with you and your family

    Love sarah

  52. These are such hard times, Corrie. My prayers are with you.

  53. So sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  54. Che Dio la prenda per mano e l’accompagni nel suo ultimo viaggio. Piango per te.

  55. Sending thoughts of love and peace your way. *hugs*

  56. praying for you today.
    Lorraine

  57. Ohh Corrie,I am soo sorry.. :( But I am glad about one thing and that is that you are got to say good bye to her..unlike me-I still have so many things,that I want to say to my mum.
    hugs.and be strong.

  58. No words just know that strangers are praying for you and the peace needed at this time.

  59. Oh, Corrie! Hearts across the world are holding you at this time!

  60. My thoughts are with you and your family. Lots of love all the way from the Netherlands!

    Wendy

  61. Love and prayers for you all dear Corrie,
    Christine xo

  62. Oh Corrie.
    Praying God’s peace to you and your family. I am so sorry.

  63. I’ve discovered your blog only two days ago and I was checking what beautiful is your blog and your family as well.
    And with this news I know perfectly how you feel because I lost my mother in the same way…only in a 9 days and it was the sadness day of my life…but fortunately, we have a lovely family and that’s why we need to go on….
    I’m praying for you and your mum….she will be always in your hearth!!!

  64. May God wrap his arms of comfort around you all.

  65. Words can not express how sorry I am for you and your family. You are all in my thoughts at this difficult time. Big hugs to you all from Scotland
    Pene x x

  66. Even if I don’t know you and live far, far away from you (Norway) I would like to say to you that you should be so proud of yourself being such a giving and loving person. I like to think that this huge part of your personality is a gift from your mum that will be passed on through generations – your beautiful children are watching you also in this difficult situation and they are learning that love is wonderful but also hard and that their mum is filled with love and appreciation for her mum.I also pray for you to have the strength you need to go through this difficult time.Love from Hege

  67. well; you know God always,always answer our prayers and he knows our felings and pains ,so He giveus peace and we can continue standing. Today had been one and 2 months since my 29 years old son was killed by some people;if not by the fortress God gave me i would not be here tellling you this words each and every day He gave me His streng and im reaching a litle peace; so you and your family will be in my prayers. so keep going and God bless you.

  68. Dear Corrie, how very sad for you all & my thoughts are with you as you share these special hours & days with your sweet Mum

  69. Sorry to hear about your mom, I know it must be very hard to see her like this, I hope she goes peacefully and your heart heals quickly. Remember she will always be in your heart and soul.

  70. I wish you peace Corrie.

  71. So sorry Corrie…

  72. I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family during this heartbreaking time.

  73. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time. Take comfort in your family and faith as they will help you through this.

  74. Praying for your all….

    Sandyn

  75. My tears are for you and yours. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hate cancer so much ~ why can’t a cure be found. You have a lot of friends and a lot of prayers heading your way, may they hold you up in this difficult time.

  76. I’m so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your family today.

    Big, big hugs to you xo

  77. Hugs Corrie, my heart is breaking for you. Thinking of you all xx
    Amie

  78. Oh Corrie, of course I don’t know you ‘in person’ but from what I know from reading your blog I know that you’ll be embraced in a circle of love and comfort by that beautiful family of yours in the coming days, weeks. You will hold each other gently, hold each other up. Sending virtual hugs.

  79. Corrie, your darling children will keep your mum close to you in the dark times.

  80. Having just experienced something similar, I know what you are facing. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Gentle hugs,
    Sandy A

  81. Corrie, I am so, so sorry. My prayers are with you as you prepare to say goodbye.

  82. Corrie, you and your family are in my thoughts. Peace to your mum. May your faith carry you when you feel you can no longer walk the journey.
    With love, Jacinta

  83. I’m so sorry for your families pain & sadness at the moment.

  84. Thinking of you Corrie xx

  85. I’m so sorry to read this Corrie. You have my sympathies. Big hug.

  86. What a brave girl you are to soldier through a market – how fortunate you are to know that God is walking beside you through this journey and holding your hand. And that he has already prepared a room for your Mum in his Kingdom. God Bless you and your family through this time

  87. Me and my family are praying for you at this very sad time. Holding you up to God for strength and peace for your family. May God hold your mum close to him also.

    xxoo

  88. Corrie you sound so brave but it must be heartwrenching for all your family right now. I will be thinking of you all xx

  89. Oh Corrie. :-( I just don’t know what to say. There aren’t any words to make it better for you, or any magic wands to fix everything. I wish there were.
    I am thinking of you – hope that helps a little.
    Georgia xxx

  90. Oh Corrie My heart is breaking for you now. Will be sure to give my mum an extra big hug when I see her today.

  91. Thinking of you Corrie and your lovely family during this tragic time xoxo

  92. I’m really sorry to hear about your mum. xx

  93. Corrie, that song is beautiful.
    LOve to you and your family,
    xx

  94. a beautiful woman, off to a more beautiful place. thinking of your and your family..x

  95. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Xx

  96. Oh Corrie, I’ll be thinking of you and your family during this sad time. x

  97. Hi Corrie

    I feel your pain with a lump in my throat as I write this, I lost my sweet Dad last year. Sending you and your Dad and the rest of your family lots of cyber-love and hugs as you will need it in the coming weeks.

    dxx

  98. Letting go is such a hard thing…my heart goes out to you. Love & peace for you & your family x

  99. Oh Corrie, I am so sad for you. Thinking of you, your Mum and your family. ~ xx

  100. Dear Corrie, my heart really does go out to you and you are very much in my thoughts and prayers. It was lovely to meet you yesterday and I am pleased that we brightened you up for a little moment. I hope you will feel the love of our dear Lord Jesus Christ around you at this really difficult time, and in the weeks to come. Our parents are very special people and it is so hard to say goodbye … till we meet again. May your Mum live on in your heart forever. Special prayers for you, your Dad and your family. XXX Di Bracey

  101. I’m so sorry to hear that your mum is not doing well. I lost my mom about 3 1/2 years ago, unexpectedly, and it’s hard to go on without your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  102. Dear Corrie,
    I am so sorry to read this post. I will be sending my love and thoughts to you and your Mum and all your family at this heartbreaking time. Susie x

  103. I pray that God will hold you all close at this time and ease her suffering. Love and hugs xx

  104. This brings back memories of my own Mum’s departure from this world, only I wish a priest had been present – she wasn’t religious. It is a real blessing your mum is well prepared for the journey.
    Praying for your Mum and your family.

    P.S. Love the photo in the last post – she looks so young and beautiful.

  105. Ohhh corrie…i thought your mum was doing ok considering…i didnt realise the end was near. Im so sorry. My mum is my best friend, i cannot even fathom what your going thru now. You have your faith, you have your family, and you have us, your cyber buddies…hugs sweetheart …….

  106. So sad for you and your family Corrie. Just hoping all these messages of love give you much comfort and support.

  107. Hugs Corrie my heart is broken too.

  108. oh i am crying tears for you too. i hope your mum will be in peace as she grows her wings and enters the after life.

    sending love your way

    xx

  109. sending you big love and hugs.
    <3"

  110. I’m so very sorry Corrie… lots of love to you all. Kate x

  111. my thoughts are with and your family.

  112. My heart aches for you, having lost my mum nearly 5 years ago I do know how you are feeling.
    There are still days when I think I need to talk to her, ask her questions about family but her cancer was a nasty one and she is in a better place. You never get over loosing a parent but it does get easier with time.
    My prayers are with all your family, love and best wishes for the future

  113. Thinking of you, your family and your mother <3

  114. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful family… May God walk with you through these hard times and after….
    Cry when you need to cry….
    Take a hug when you need it…
    and always remember the wonderful times you had with your mother… We in Blog land feel for you Corrie. All my love…

  115. Thinking of u Corrie and praying for your mum. I saw you yesterday at mathildas and didn’t realise how things were with your mum. My husbands family has been through this and it is very hard, stay strong. I am thinking of you and your family at this time and sending you hugs, and take comfort in your children and pray,
    much love Lisa

  116. Corrie, this morning I lit a candle at Mass for you, your Mum and family. I still vividly remember saying my own goodbyes to my Mum and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  117. a beautiful song, brought tears to my eyes. hope that your mum is comfortable and you all stay safe by her side. thoughts are with you today.
    x

  118. Oh honey, my heart is breaking for you too….We’ll be praying for your darling mother and strength for you m’love xxx

  119. Oh Corrie, my heart is heavy for you right now.

    Thinking of you (all of you).
    xxxx

  120. Thinking of you and your family Corrie. Sending you love.

  121. Oh Corrie, I am so sorry. When i was prattling on yesterday I hadn’t read your post before the last one. I knew your mum wasn’t well but I didn’t know about the latest development. I am thinking about you and you and your family are in my prayers. xxxxxx Jen

  122. I can’t think of what to write, only that I am thinking of you.

  123. My thoughts and prayers are with you Corrie. Last year my Dad died after struggling for years with Parkinson’s and dementia. For many days we waited, thinking every phone call would be “the one”.
    It is a very difficult time.

  124. I am so very sorry Corrie. What a blessing though to find peace and comfort in your faith. May your mum continue to rest peacefully and may God bless you abundantly through this time. xo

  125. Oh Corrie. My heart is breaking for you. Sending you all my love & strength. xxa

  126. May God’s peace and love hold you strong during this difficult time for your family. *hugs*

  127. Bless you and your family.

  128. Sending you and your family love. x

  129. Praying for you and family.

  130. May God bless you with strength & patience during this difficult time.

  131. thinking of you gorgeous Corrie
    God Bless you
    xx

  132. Lots of love and strength to you at this sad time.

  133. So sorry to hear about your Mum’s decline and the difficult time you all must be going through.

    We are thinking of you, your Mum and of course Dad at this time.

    skye xx

  134. special thoughts with you……..

  135. You were on my mind so much last night when I went to bed and all I could do was pray.
    God is with you each step of the way Corrie. Thinking of you and all your family. xx

  136. Oh Corrie I am so sorry to hear the news about your mum. I had been wondering how she was as you hadn’t mentioned anything for a long time, but now I see why. It is a very private time and you have really had so much go on this year. My love and thoughts to you and all your family
    Lucy

  137. Oh Corrie…
    I don’t know what to say. I don’t have sufficient words. but my heart is heavy with this news. I have been where you are right now (with my Dad). Nothing prepares you. All I can do is keep praying for you and your family, and hope that somewhere you will find comfort to wrap around your heart. Sending hugs your way.
    S xox

  138. I’m so sorry to hear of this sad time Corrie. I am praying for peace for you and your family. Thankyou for sharing your struggle and for being ‘real’ – you are an amazing woman and I admire your strength! Peace xxoo

  139. Dear Corrie. We don’t know each other but I love reading your blog. I’m very sorry to hear about your mum. Thinking of you and your family. Take care.
    Yvonne

  140. Thinking o fyou and your lovely family Corrie.

  141. Darling Corrie, thinking of you, will chat later, love Posie

  142. Are thoughts are of you and your family at this difficult and said time.

    God Bless xxx

    The Forrest Family

  143. Oh Corrie! May God be with you as you say your goodbyes. Thinking of you and praying that the memories of a life well lived help at this difficult time.

  144. sorry thinking of you all, you are in our thoughts and prayers…..xoxoxo

  145. Oh Corrie, praying for the God of all comfort to comfort you all right now, with peace…Big hugs x x x x

  146. Oh Corrie I am so sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum last August and it is so strange and unreal. Take care of yourself.

  147. You and your family are in my thoughts – I pray for peace and comfort for all of you.

  148. Thinking of you and your family.

  149. Very sorry to hear Corrie.
    Hope your dear Mum is comfortable, and that you all feel God’s comfort and love. Direct line to to God – you betcha sister!
    Shalom
    Jenny

  150. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at such a difficult time.

  151. With tears in my eyes I want to say how very sorry your sweet family is having to say goodbye soon to your mother. I can’t imagine the emotions, but want you to know I’ll be praying for you and your family.

  152. At moments like this I feel at loss with words as English isn’t my first language. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mum and the rest of the family!

  153. Such heartbreaking news Corrie. May she rest in peace and I know you’re a stronger and more resilient mum/wife/friend because of the way things have turned out. We send our love to you. Thankyou for sharing something so personal. It makes us realise there is more to life to appreciate when we have our down days.

  154. There are no clever words. Just no so many people are thinking of you all.

  155. Thinking of you Corrie. With much love, Marina. xxx.

  156. Dear Corrie, thinking of you, thinking of your beautiful mum. Sending you lots of love, xxx

  157. So sorry to hear about your Mum Corrie, all my thoughts are with you and your family at the moment. Was looking forward to meeting you at SIT, maybe next year?
    Hope you are able to take it easy and get some good snuggle time with your gorgeous babies over the next few days, I will be thinking of you. x

  158. You and your family are in my thoughts x

  159. Thinking of you and your family in this difficult time.

    Sending lots of love your way xx

  160. So sorry to hear this news. I am thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

  161. DAMN CANCER!

  162. Your mum, you and your family are in my thoughts Xx

  163. I’m so sorry to hear of your heartache. I recently heard Prince William say that “grief is the price we pay for love”. I hope this statement brings you some solace. I’ve found my faith to be a great help during my personal times of heartache and I hope it will be the same for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  164. Corrie i am so sad for what you are going through right now. You are right gods words are truely comforting. Praying for you at this difficult time.
    Fiona x

  165. Be strong Corrie…know that everyone is praying for both you, your Mum, and your family. Hold happy thoughts of the time you spend together. This will pass, but keep the love that is now flowing, deep within your heart with the memories you hold dear.
    Warm, warm hugs

  166. Feeling your sorrow. Take your time to grieve- there is no rush.
    Love to you & your little ones.

  167. Oh Corrie, just catching up on all this now. I am truly SO sorry that this time has come around so quickly. Thinking of you and your family at this awful time, I hope you have some comfort knowing she will be at peace and with your God. Lots of love xx

  168. xx keep strong

  169. Thinking of you, and sending you some love and strength.

  170. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  171. Thinking of you and your family tonight Corrie xx

  172. Thinking of you and your family dear Corrie at this sad and awful time. I’ve walked down the road you’re now on and I know how hard and how very painful it is. Hang in there and know you’re surrounded by love.
    xx Lisa

  173. Heartbroken for you. Have been through this with both parents in the last 14 months.
    Enormous sympathy to youX

  174. I can’t say any words to make things easier for you… I wish I could.
    My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
    Rebelxx

  175. Thinking of you and your family at this very sad time. xx

  176. i lost my mum, who was also my best friend, six years ago. believe me when i say the pain goes but the loving memories remain, forever. my thoughts are with you and your family oxox

  177. Hi Corrie…like everyone else…thinking of you and your family…in our prayers always. Much Love.

  178. Corrie, you are much in my thoughts as you and your family go though this most difficult time. It is hard. So, so hard.
    Be kind to yourself.

    xx

  179. Dear Corrie,

    Kind thoughts are with you and your family.

  180. I am so sorry. It is heartbreaking that you and your family should have to endure this sort of pain. Thoughts are with you Corrie.

  181. Thinking of you Corrie…

    bimbom

  182. I’m so sorry. I hope she doesn’t feel any pain. Big hugs, Silvia

  183. Just a few words. Be brave! Your kids will help you in these dificult moments. We never forget but we learn how to keep on living remembering the good old days…
    With love

  184. I´m so sorry Corrie.
    Lot of hugs from Spain

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