Yes, people, they are all my children. And yes I am pregnant with number 4. And no I’m not brave or crazy, I’m actually very lucky. Do you want to listen to my whole infertility story and know that this baby is a little miracle that required no drugs or doctors visits to get inside my tummy. Or that I feel so blessed to have such beautiful, happy and healthy children who are the love of my life.
I am only saying this because today I went to Spotlight for a quick trip. Not 1, not 2 but yes, 3 different people stopped me to ask exactly the same question ‘are they all yours?’ Oh no, I just love walking around shopping malls with other people’s children. It’s such a pleasant experience to have 3 small children on the loose at the shops. I’m not sure what is wrong with people but obviously they are my children.
‘we’ve just been playing at the park’ hair!
Thankfully, I just smile sweetly but deep down I’m thinking derrrr why of course they are my own children and couldn’t you think of something nicer to say. And let me tell you people’s faces and voices aren’t always super sweet and friendly when they ask this question. Maybe I wouldn’t mind if they were like some nice people who just say ‘gosh you have beautiful children’. We like those people, they are usually the people at our church who love to tell us that. Anything you need to get off your chest today??? I sure needed to get that one off my chest!
Oh I know what you mean!! having 3 boys (4,2, 9m)myself, I often get told “oh you have your hands full” “you should try for a girl” UHH! no. I like having 3 boys just fine thank you. and I would much rather full hands, it means I have a full heart. I usually just smile and nod though. LOL
Congratulations on your miracle pregnancy. I am also one that had infertility problems and now have 2 wonderful children – but that is it for me – one boy, one girl. Your children are really beautiful and photogenic and seems like they don’t mind the camera. You’re very lucky. Best of luck with baby 4.
Ignore, ignore ignore! You do very well to smile back Corrie, there are times I have not managed to.
Apparently there is a magic number, after which it is perfectly acceptable for people to make ever increasingly rude comments, *Sigh* After 4 children (all girls) my body didn’t bounce back, Now I get asked if we went back for a boy or when’s this one due…….. Im not pregnant!
Your children are gorgeous, and Im sure your lovely number 4 will be so too, congratulations!
Lucky indeed.
Three was my lucky number but I’ve friends equally lucky with 5 & 6 with age spans of more than 20 years.
You can imagine the comments they’ve attracted over the years.
People can be poo heads
I’ve been asked INFRONT of Amelia “where does the blonde hair come from? The milkman?” Honestly, some people are socially inept. Love to you xxx
Just having one can be frustraing! “Are you too scared to go back for more?” “Don’t you like kids?” and this if often from clients at work! I feel like saying ‘No, I’d hate to be in love and have a husband and regular sex, then stay home and raise a family, that sounds like my idea of torture, and how about you MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!!
I am reguarly asked that same question as I have 5, yes that’s right 5 children. I too feel incredibly blessed to have such gorgeous, polite, intelligent little, or not so little anymore, people who make me smile everyday and laugh until it hurts.
Some people just have nothing better to say than to criticise, sadly these are the ones who vocalise their silly thoughts.
May large families be celebrated instead of criticised.
I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and your 3 children are gorgeous.
Take care
Zoe
I live in an area where I am not the norm. I only have two yet a lot around here have 3-6. I get constantly asked when I’m having more. I have had major health issues where I have nearly died whilst pregnant or have lost them or lucky to have my son who should not have survived as well as he did. Placenta almost non existant in function by the time he was born. I wish I had more a lot more infact.
Plus my hubby already has two others and we are grandparents to his eldest.
My neighbour who has 5 gets questioned all the time about her beautiful children. She smiles and says “they most certainly are, aren’t they wonderful”
After that ramble.
I admire anyone who has the life they choose and if that includes no children or it includes several good for them.
Others judgement on children are out of line…way out of line. So hold your head high knowing your children are happy and you are a wonderful mum.
I remember being asked when i had three boys if I was planning on a rugby team or just a relay team. Or perhaps it was, “How many times will you try for a girl?”
I also remember being told by a woman at a new church that my boys were beautiful, so well brought up, well mannered and considerate. I felt great. Two were in their teens and the third was approaching that age, but I did wonder if she was talking about the three boys I knew!
That photo of park hair is lovely. Just look at those eyes. Beautiful.
I know exactly what you mean. I have 3 kids under 3. No twins, all seperate pregnancies, all planned all a year apart (or less). I get that line all the time, and others! But I have come to the conclusion that I love my life, I love my kids, I love my husband. Thats all that matters. I just feel thankful & sad that the people making the negative comments (or looks) wouldnt be able to handle the fun & craziness of my life
They are the ones who are missing out! You are doing an extraordinary job Corrie!!! So – next time dont just smile – Smile & say Yes! They are all my kids and I am so lucky! PS: Love LOve love your blog! Im from WA and read what your up to all the time!
As a very busy mother to 7 children, I completely understand where you’re coming from. When I am out with our twins 3.5yrs, our almost 2 year old and our baby who is 5 months old, I’m often ‘greeted’ with, “Oh my, I’m glad it’s you and not me” to which I reply with the same empathy, “I’m glad it’s not you and it’s me too”.
I love big families, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be a mother to 7 blessings, but I am and I love my children and my life.
If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart. 😀
I am one of 7 children and one of my sisters has 6 boys. The number of times that my mother and sister have been asked “don’t you have a tv at home?”. Some people just don’t think before they speak!
A friend of ours has 7 beautiful children and keeps a blog about her family, this article made me smile:
http://www.sevencherubs.com/2010/06/does-my-butt-look-big-with-this-bus.html
Keep smiling.
Ha, you try walking around with four girls in tow. I usually get in early with “aren’t I lucky?” and usually people have something nice to say. I feel very lucky too and wouldn’t have it any other way. You can only feel sorry for some people. As long as you are happy, that’s the most important thing.
How ridiculous! Your children all look so alike, it’s plainly obvious they are family. (And they are beautiful, by the way :-))
Just wait til you have 4 little people!
Oh the comments you’ll get!!!
I’m so glad you’ve got 3 (and a half) delicious little people to play with and care for. Enjoy!!
Andi x
Well said! Consider it off your chest now. Enjoy your gorgeous family.
you’re so lucky you went on to have them after infertility. Those of us still stuck, probably forever, on the island of infertility, get our own brand of awkward questions. ‘leaving a bit late aren’t you?’ being one of my favourites.
Just smile and say ” no I rent them for fun ” ! My friend has 5 of her own and 6 foster children , you should hear some of the comments she gets , lol !
I had my third, by choice, at 36, 10 years after the second child and people asked me when I was having the next one! Originally I was only having 2 :). Enjoy your children and if someone has a problem with how many there are, then it’s their problem – not yours – as they look like lovely, happy little kids enjoying their childhood, as they should :D.
Stand proud of your four beautiful children Corrie. I only have three (girl, boy, girl) and could not believe the comments when people heard we were having our third – “What? Why are you going again…you already have one of each!” As if babies only come in two flavours instead of being their own unique and incredible selves. Enjoy every moment.
3 kids, whats wrong with that? Hey even 4 kids!
I’d personally love to have 5. Nice number 5. My other half? He’s very solidly stopped at 2, so 2 it is. Better than none. But i love the idea of a big family.
Plus back in my parents day it was common to have 5 or more kids.
How rude of them! I’d tell them yes, plus the other 6 you have at school to be a smartass ;P
Just laugh! Or use a cute badge saying “Yes, they are all mine…and I love it” !
You have certainly been blessed with beautiful children!
Oh I feel for you Corrie! I am the eldest of five…the more the merrier I say
Helen x
Your miracle pregnancy is very encouraging to me. It makes me believe that a miracle could come my way someday as well!! Congratulations!!
They are either stinking green with jealousy or have no idea of the joy of being a parent(even on the days you are climbing the walls!).Stick your chin way up high Corrie and walk the other way with your gorgeous babies.You are quite right that you are lucky.Its wonderful!! xx
I dont think that it is always meant in a critical way – I would probably say that to you if I met you but what I would be thinking is : “how lucky to have three such beautiful children, all looking so well cared for and happy and that you look blooming, well and contented – wow what a good job you are doing !” I would be saying it in admiration and respect as only a stressed mother of two could – wondering what your secret is – please dont see it as a criticism, see it as admiration
XXX
It fascinates me why people look at anybody with more than three kids like we have two heads, or that they must be other peoples kids. (I have 4) I, thankfully am past that stage, and am onto the next one. My eldest is 21 & I am 39, so now I get the whole “gee you must have been a baby when you started” Its the tone they say it too, not just the words. People need to remember we all have choice, and its ours to own, and nobody elses to judge.
I was in Spotlight today out West and was chatting with a mum who had a two year old, three year old twins, and a four year old. She was buying fabric for her daughter who was in Year 7 in high school for her sewing class! What a woman. The kids were angels, standing next to the counter patiently while the mother got served. Amazing.
As a mother of five I totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes they look at me as if I have two heads!! Your children are just gorgeous, don’t let these small minded people worry you, like someone else said, they are either jealous or they have never enjoyed being a parent. We are contemplating number 6 and I hate to imagine what the comments would be like then – even from family members that it doesn’t affect at all! Everyone likes to share their opinions!
Awww, don’t let it bother you Corrie. People are just trying to make small talk and everyone is different — with differing opinions, to which they’re all entitled (even if they’re goofballs). I think it’s wonderful that you have so many adorable children — the more the merrier. In fact, they’re so beautiful, I hope you’ll have as many as you can — the world needs more gorgeous people. 😉 (I love big families!)
I used to hear that all the time, and then I would get comments about having a little girl after all those boys and the age gaps (fertility issues too). I agree – aren’t we lucky!
LOL, I could have written this post myself. Can’t imagine the looks I’ll be getting in a few months time.
Having just become a mother to three … I want a dollar for everytime someone says “Oooo, you’ve got your hands full there”. Congrats on number 4 … you do indeed make beautiful children!
PS I like to reply ‘that’s it so far’ when people ask in horror if all 4 children are mine
Usually that shuts them up enough for me to get away. LOL
Aren’t people strange… I get it too when I am with my 24yo,18yo and my two girls, 3 & 4yo… they look perplexed at me, waiting for me to explain… I nod and laugh and don’t answer them… let them think what the heck they like….smile and nod my mum says and walk with your head held high…it’s your business and no one else what choices you make…or what God has destined for your life…whether it be two, three or ten children…and how ever many years gap…. your children are precious and loved..
Hugs for mummy…
My favorite comment happened was when I had three (twins 5 1/2, middle 3 and a large belly with youngest. At the mall I heard “Boy, I bet you are hoping its not twins!” Actually, I replied, I really enjoy all my kids, thank you. They are now ages 12 through 18, and the twins are heading to college next month. Guess what, I am not really ready, I could use a few more years (although I admit, I would choose the 5 to 8 year old range, hahaha) CONGRATS, great family!
Corrie we always know how much you love your kids and how lucky you are. I always wanted 3 but am happy with my 2. I think people forget how hard it is for some people to achieve having a baby, and yes some of my close friends and family have had that path to go down too. I cant wait to see your little baby who cant be too far away now.
Seriously, I think this has more to do with social etiquet than having children – as a lot of comments have described – people say rude things to people with no children, with one child, with two children. And, just yesterday a grocery store clerk said “she looks confused” about my daughter who does not speak. I just cut her off with “what aisle is the applesauce in?” In a way it is a “loose-loose” wanting to have strangers say “appropriate” things to you that boost our egos. What a crazy thought!
And, even though strangers do say weird things – I think the “credit” Moms get for having 4 kids WAY outnumbers the negatives, in my opinion.f
“Do you know what causes that?” or “Time to get a TV in the bedroom” or “Are you having any more??!!”
Then the other day while we were out for lunch a lady came up to me and congratulated me on my wonderful children and that they are a credit to me….makes all the rude remakes disappear!
I’m so excited for you and family! You are blessed in so many ways. You children are so lucky to have you as a mum xox
Oh, for goodness sake! It is only three children. Well, four if you’re counting the one on the way. It’s in the realms of normal. It’s not like twenty. Just smile and tell them how lucky you are.
(I get told I have my hands full with two)
I know exactly how you feel! People look at me like I have a third eyeball sometimes…..although I’m not entirely sure I can pin that one on the kids! 😉
I know the feeling. I always answered that with, “Yes, I am so blessed to be the mother of all of them”. It quiets them down quickly. One of our sons and DIL are expecting their 11th and are thrilled to death.
gosh you sure DO have beautiful children!! so happy for you!
Your children are so beautiful. You are indeed blessed. I have 3 at home and to tell you the truth I couldn’t imagine throwing another little one into the mix.
Well, your children do all look similar, so it would be logical to think they were all yours, but people do work in family day care & can be out shopping with a collection of other people’s children. I did the opposite once – made a comment about the number of children a woman had & she laughed & said they weren’t all hers.
I only have 3 children, but wish we had more. Unfortunately we are not able to have anymore, so I just think how lucky I am to have the 3 that I do.
People can say some very unkind things without thinking. I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd I was in the supermarket & the older 2 kept grabbing things off the shelf & asking for them. I said no, put it back a few times, then got a comment from someone that I shouldn’t be having another one if I couldn’t manage the ones I already have. Lovely.
I have to admit that I have said “gosh.. you have your hands full” on a number of occasions..
I have a 2 1/2 year old and we have been trying ever since for number 2.. I really want 4 or 5 kids and when I see a mum at the playground with a truck load of kids, I might say “Gosh you have your hands full?” or “Are they all yours?” as a way of starting a conversation. I usually follow with “I cant wait to have that many of my own”.
I always say it with a smile on my face and I have never had a negative reaction to the comment.. But, maybe they go home and say to their husband “You won’t believe what this mum said to me at the playground today” !!??
I understand I have four of my one (9,7,4,3) and i am always getting asked if they are all mine, they must be an handful, how do you manage, having 4 today is like having 8 in the oldern days, you are so crazy. I a love having a large family and all the joys it brings (along with stresses – there was only 12 months between the last two) and just smile and proudly say yes they are. Congratulations on number four.
I haven’t been asked that of my two – yet! Plenty of time for that I’m sure! Your family is gorgeous. I’m pretty sure that people just say these things because they are envious of seeing a happy family (a sight not so common these days!). Congrats on your miracle baby. We have specific issues ourselves – currently trying for no 3 with no luck so far, but if God wants it to be, then it will be! All the best Corrie!
Some people have no tact! I had 3 under 3 and would get… ‘you’ve got your hands full’ all the time.
All the best with number 4.
I think people judge on what THEY can handle, they don’t know YOU.
I’ve had many, MANY people ask us why we would consider twins 18 months after our first born.. ummm because you don’t tick a box for a singleton and another for twins, you get what you get!!
Rest assured as they get older, the stares become less frequent and all people will be asking is what age they are and how lovely they are… promise. xx
I still don’t understand how people think it’s appropriate for them to judge us on how we plan our family. When I have my three with me I fill myself with pride and joy that for one: I took all the kids out by myself and two: we are happy as we are. I am betting on my family even freaking out when I tell them we are planning on #4 next Nov! Gasp! Hope your tests go well and you have a terrific weekend. Wish I was there.
Corrie, i have 2 kids and i think you are 100 awesomes for having 4, personally i could not do it, but i really admire those who have a tribe of gorgeous little tots following them around !
next time tell the sticky beaks
” No i abducted them from kmart, but shhh the cops don;t know yet !!”
get off my chest today…. funny you talk about your kids. i wouldn’t assume that 3 kids with a woman, would necessarily be her own, and depending how the kids were behaved i could understand how the tone of voice might vary.
tonight we were shopping in a clothing store, there were 2 women, with 2 kids… not sure which woman the kids belonged to. those kids made such a commotion in the store the two women were taking turns YELLING idle threats to these two “treasures”. it was an unpleasant shopping experience and a stressful time!! ALL the shoppers gave a huge sigh of relief when the four FINALLY left the store. the clerks apologized for the disruption….
it somehow seems to be acceptable to have out of control children in public places, but never acceptable for the victims to speak up.
perhaps your kids are fine and well behaved…. but sadly…they’re not all that way!!
congratulations on your “no drugs or doctors visits” pregnancy!!
I think you are brave – not for having 4 kids, but for taking any kids into Spotlight
I have 3 kids (although number 3 is still a baby), and it’s always chaos when we go into Spotlight – too many pretty things to look at and touch.
More seriously, I have two girls, then number three, a boy. I’m so over people saying, “Oh, how lucky, a boy. You can stop now.” How do they think this makes my daughters feel? That we were just going to keep having babies until we got a boy, because they are somehow better? Is there something wrong with having girls? Do people forget that whether it’s a boy or girl is pretty much pot luck and that for most of us, a healthy baby is really all we are hoping for? Having lost a baby before my pregnancy with my son, all I wanted was a healthy baby in my arms.
You go girl!
Gosh, you have beautiful children!
We’ve just had number four and I hate to say it… but the comments only get worse!
When I am having a bad day I like to amuse myself when I get these comments..
“Are they all yours?” they ask… and I reply –
“Why yes, but I left the other 8 kids home with their father”…..
You should see the looks on their faces!
That photo is beautiful and I have no idea why people say stupid things like that. People are weird. Like strangers asking my age. It’s got nothing to do with them!
“You must be so busy”. “Poor you!” “Why?” “Were they planned?” “Are you crazy?” etc. We had 4 kids in quick succession. Yes, it’s busy. Yes, they were planned. No, we’re not crazy. For all the negative comments people have made – there has only been one positive comment that really resonated with me “You are so blessed.” Congratulations – you truly are blessed.
I met a lady recently with four who told me that she turned point blank to somebody at the supermarket and said “Would you like to take a photo?”
Haha.
It sucks that we even treat each other like there’s some need to justify our lives. Crazy.
Just keep going!!
Sooo hearing you. I have 4 kids myself! Whenever I say that…people would normally reply with this ‘oh you poor mother.’ What is up with that? Ugh!
Oh Please! I know what you mean. I had 4 under 6 and people just freak out! I think… It’s not that many people! I loveing having a largish family… but then, my husband is ONE OF TWELVE! Now THAT is a large family
Yep, and the comments get stranger if your children are all the same gender…
I have four girls (the oldest is 5), and the things I hear…
It’s not like I can take one back to the exchange counter at Big W. “Uh, I’d like to exchange this one for one with external plumbing, please.”
How could they not all be yours?! Its so obvious! They are just adorable! I can’t believe how people seem to think that from the time you are pregnant you would just love to hear their opinion on their horrific birth story/how many children you should have/whether or not you are ‘trying’ for another one/…and boy does this list go on! I’m especially tired of the “is he your only one/are you trying” at the moment because little one 2 is taking long than we thought to eventuate! All the best for your pregnancy and new addition to your gorgeous family!