well I was pregnant and then I wasn’t

Kind of ironic that when my infertility post went live this week that I was actually pregnant. It’s been quite a weird past fortnight. I’d know the nausea that is morning sickness anywhere. And when I started to feel it while we were in manly I started to think about dates and wondering was I pregnant. But I couldn’t bring myself to do a test. I figured I’d just wait for a few more signs or my period to start.Then it was my birthday but I didn’t want to do a test on my birthday and then retro daddy went away for a night or two and there was no way I was buying a pregnancy test looking like I already had 50 million small children with me.

Anyway, I got some tests, did one and it came up pregnant straight away. Just as I expected. But it was still a shock. But I smiled. I knew I wasn’t done having babies and I knew we’d make it work. When you find out you’re pregnant it’s exciting and scary all rolled into one. You start thinking about when you’ll be due, what season will it be, what have you given away and what will you need. And you get excited about when you’ll get to tell people. Although I was also worried about how people would react.

I rang ahead to make sure my nice friendly dr was working the next day, did my blood test, made the appointment for an ultrasound and still kept smiling to myself at my little secret. I was wishing I’d done a test a few weeks earlier but just thought I’d got my dates all muddled up. I’m so busy I never really pay attention to dates. Because of my history with an ectopic I always have 2 blood tests a few days apart and an early ultrasound. I still felt really nauseous but I had a great day thinking about a new baby. I picked up the kids from school, put them all in the car and got this terrible feeling. Oh boy, I needed to make it home and fast. I wasn’t even going to make it back around to the drivers seat before I started to bleed. I knew straight away was happening.

Of course I had absolutely no pads in the house. Poor men, I’m sure they just love going to the shops to buy super strength pads for their wives or girlfriends. Just hanging out in the sanitary products aisle. Anyway, it’s fair to say that I’ll keep a good supply of them in the bathroom from now on. I think that my body is pretty amazing and efficient and after 2 nights hugging a hot water bottle, a few nurofen and feeling a little sad and sorry for myself the worst of it was over. But now after 4 days of it I’m just feeling physically drained and exhausted and wishing that it was all over.

I still feel a little sad but am grateful that it happened early on. I’ve also had moments where I’ve  thought that maybe I had done something wrong. What if I took my vitamins earlier or looked after myself better. But I know that these things are out of my control and everything happens for a reason. This is my 3rd early pregnancy loss and unfortunately it can be part of the process of having a family. I can’t imagine the pain that some people go through the further along they are or have miscarriage after miscarriage or when you have your first one.

And I should tell you that I wasn’t sure whether to write this post or not. Yes it’s a personal thing but it happens to women all the time and no one really talks about it. But I know that sharing it would help someone else and also show that I’m just a normal mum going through everything that goes on in life. The good and the bad.  And I do try to show it all here on the blog. 

p.s the baby would have been conceived on Australia Day – retro daddy probably would have tried to use that as an excuse to use the name Banjo!!! 

Comments

  1. So honest and open, always.

  2. Corrie, thank you for sharing. Feeling for you and sending big hugs your way. Thank you for opening your heart.

  3. Corrie,
    I think that miscarriage is the most under talked about grief there is. Because it happens so early in pregnancy and most are unaware that you are pregnant, no one gives any of the support that you get when a loved one dies. Yet I really believe the grief is similar – you are grieving for what could have been. I had a miscarriage between my first and second. I had just lost my mother to cancer and spent a week painting a room when we conceived. Eight weeks later on Psalm Sunday I lost the baby. I was unaware that 1/4 of pregnancies do not continue to term. And like you I wondered what I did to bring on the miscarriage. It has been over 20 years since it happened. I do wonder – but not as much as I have 3 gorgeous girls and realize that #2 would not be with me if it hadn’t happen. Take care Corrie, and watch that post miscarriage hormone slide – it can be tough.

  4. Thank You for this quite personal post. Big hugs from Hamburg. Althought it´s sad, it´s good that the pregnancy endet so early, there are a lot of women who even didn´t note the pregnancy bevore it ends, thinking thay are just a little bit late. And how ever, You allready have fife wonderfull chidren.
    Kisses
    Joanna Maria

  5. Hi Corrie, I think you do a great service to all women doing a post like this and creating a safe platform from which to discuss & be more aware about miscarriage. Your babies are an absolute joy & I hope you will be blessed again soon. xx

  6. Hi – thanks for being brave enough to share. I’m sure it will help at least one of your readers. Take care of yourself and the precious brood. Hugs, Chris x

  7. I appreciate your courage and forthrightness in sharing this. Bless you, hugs and prayers coming your way.

  8. Corrie I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m so glad you shared this. And I agree with Nancy, this is one of the most untalked about griefs that there is. I have two kids, both in their 20s but in between them I was pregnant. It was the only pregnancy where I was just nauseous all the time, sick as a dog. But then miscarried around the 3rd month. It amazed me that nearly every woman I knew who had been pregnant, also had miscarried at least once and I didn’t know about a single one of them before that. Take care of yourself.

  9. So sorry you had to go through this. Hugs!!! Hope you and body heal soon.

  10. Corrie, it is brave and real of you to post this so soon. It is heartbreaking to have a long bleed so I pray it can be over soon. I am a bit philosophical about my three early losses to miscarriage too. And yes the long bleed #2 loss was the hardest. But for women further along it can be so much harder and especially with many successive losses. I love that you posted photos of your youngest children with this post because each full term live baby is nothing short of a miracle. I have three miracles of my own.

  11. Oh you poor thing. I have had two and an ectopic so I know what you are going through. You write about it quite unemotionally but I know from experience that the reality is very different. Look after yourself and make sure you make some you time.

  12. I am so sorry, I understand what it is like. I lost 3 around the 10 to 12 weeks mark and then due to age and other health issues had to stop. Best wishes and hugs for you.

  13. Thinking of you, thank you for sharing. Miscarriage is not talked about & that’s a shame as so many women go through it. Being a fertility nurse i see it everyday i work & its tough! take it easy and cry when you need. Hugs at this time!

  14. Hi Corrie, thinking of you and hoping your feel better soon. It’s funny when the possiblility of being pregnant even when it is totally unplanned fills you with excitement and you always feel the sadness when your period arrives or the test is negative. You build your hopes up. It’s in us to be mummies and the wanting feelings are always the same xo

  15. Sheridan says:

    Corrie, I am really, really sorry. Look after yourself. xx

  16. Corrie, thanks for sharing. Hope you feel better soon! Unfortunatley I have been there, too. Hugs.

  17. Corrie I’m so sorry for your loss, but so glad you have shared it. For those thousands of woman who experience such loss it much better to share than be alone.

  18. Sorry for your loss and praying for you.

  19. I’m so sorry to hear this. Miscarriages are never easy. I have lost 11 babies

    Sending gentle hugs

  20. Michelle says:

    Thankyou so much for sharing such a personal and sad story. As always, you write with such straightforwardness and honesty and, in the midst of the sadness, humour and positivity. I love reading your blog and following your beautiful family.

    I had a miscarriage at ten weeks in between our two beautiful little girls, and felt completely unprepared with the emotions that would come with it. While I hypothetically knew that it was relatively common, I didn’t know anyone who had had one (or at least, noone who had shared having one), wondered about whether I should have given up coffee or netball or otherwise taken it easier, and didn’t really feel like I was allowed to feel sad. While part of me felt I should be grateful because at least I had one beautiful child, which is more than many people get, I also felt guilt and loss of expectations and a feeling that my body had let me down by not doing what it was supposed to do. While the advice I got at the time was true, it wasn’t as helpful as having someone able to say, it’s okay, it’s happened to me too, you didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing wrong with you, you can try again. Since then (and since successfully having bub number 2) I have shared our loss with lots of people, and have been shocked to learn how many people have been through the same thing.

    As with so many of your posts, thankyou for being a voice for ‘normal’ mums and women. It is such an under-discussed topic, so thankyou for helping to change our culture through your bravery! Praying for you and your family, wishing you health and happiness over the next few weeks, cuddle those beautiful children you have very tight!

  21. whoa! that would have been 6 babies! I haven’t ever had a miscarriage, and have 3 children (and knew that I wasn’t finished either- but hubby`who is an only child- said no more!) , but I have a friend who had one when it was her last chance for a baby due to her age. The devastation is unreal. I don’t think you can ever recover from wanting something so badly and your bod letting you down. I have witnessed a deep bitterness and blame game (on everything!!!) that is unrelentless, even with loads of counselling.

  22. Your honestly is amazing, so thank you. I’m sorry for your loss.

  23. Corrie, what a difficult thing to share. Our families thoughts are with you.

  24. So honest and so grateful there are women out there like you who share these experiences. I had one my very first time round, early on like you, but heartbreaking all the same – isn’t it amazing how many plans and dreams you make in a day or two?! We fortunately fell the next cycle, she stuck and is snoozing in bed next to me on this cool Autumn morning. Biggest, gentle hugs…it’s real grief and pain no matter how many kids you’ve been blessed with xxx

  25. Thankyou for sharing. I lost two in my chid bearing days and I can honestly say that it helps to hear the experiences of others not just judgements. Cherrie

  26. Sorry for your loss Corrie. I believe things happen for a reason too but that doesn’t always make it ok. Be kind to yourself in the next few months. Xx

  27. I think it is brilliant that you talk about it. There is too much silence around miscarriage and stillbirth. Thinking of you. X

    Bettina
    http://www.littleoldsouls.com

  28. Bronwyn says:

    *hugs*

  29. So so sorry to hear your news Corrie. Thinking of you and sending big hugs. x

  30. God bless you.I am one of those waiting through the pain. Thank you for putting into words what you feel.

  31. So sorry Corrie about your miscarriage. It must be so hard going through that, once but 3 times. I think writing about pain and loss of losing a baby is very helpful and also it makes other people realise that they are not alone and have experienced something someone else has gone through too. I hope the physical pain goes away very soon, and with time the emotional pain will lessen but not be forgotten. I have to say that Emerson is just absolutely gorgeous – no wonder you want another one!

  32. I’m so sorry Corrie x

  33. {{{hugs}}} I had a feeling we’d be seeing another pg post soon, sorry for your loss. I too have had a couple of early m/c. Hope you don’t suffer too much

  34. Katherine says:

    So sorry to hear this Corrie. But thank you for sharing. I’ve had 2 early and 1 late pregnancy loss and it is something that we don’t talk about. So thanks again for shining some light on something that has happened to so many of us. Sending love to you. Katherine xx

  35. Big hugs! I think no matter how far along you are pr have many children you already have it’s the saddest thing for any woman to have to go through xo

  36. ((hugs)) to you and peace on the knowledge that your little babe is safe in the arms of Jesus

  37. Elizabeth Ann says:

    thinking of you Corrie!! just go back to your GP if the bleeding goes on past a week and you still feel bleh. my miscarried baby didn’t miscarry properly and i had to have a d&c, that was the longest 2 weeks in my life :(

    to your comment of what would people say, look at that woman with all those kids, they all look happy and well cared for and the mum doesn’t look like she’s going to pull her hair out, isn’t she lucky :)

  38. Hugs Corrie xxx

  39. natalie says:

    No words, just a {{hug}} x

  40. So sorry Corrie x

  41. I’m so sorry that you are going through this Corrie. I have never understood the code of silence that people put on miscarriage & announcing pregnancies before it’s ‘safe’. To my mind I think that those who love & care for you should be a party to what’s going on with you….the good & the bad…..particularly if there’s bound to be some emotional backwash or grief involved in what’s happening…..there can hopefully be some level of understanding & compassion for what you are going through then. Please know that you’re in my thoughts & prayers!

  42. Charlotte E says:

    Thank you for being so open and honest Corrie, especially on an experience that has been shared by many but is rarely talked about.

    My husband and I have just started ttc #2 and having a miscarriage is my biggest fear because many women ttc are likely to experience at least one . Yes I was disappointed this morning when my period turned up (earlier than expected, grrr) but getting those two lines and then for it not to eventuate would be far worse. Big hugs coming your way.

  43. You are an amazing and strong woman. So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the sadness you’d be feeling. Sending big hugs x

  44. So sorry to hear this Corrie, but thank you for sharing such a personal story. This is what makes you so real, you share the good and the bad. I hope you recover quickly both physically and emotionally. Thinking of you and Retro Daddy and keeping you in my prayers xxx

  45. suzanne says:

    Thanks for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss, you are really helping all of us that have been throught this too. I will be sending many prayers and peace your way. Please take care of yourself. You are an amazing mom and your children are gorgeous.

  46. Hi Corrie,
    Long time lurker but wanted to say sorry for your loss.
    Hugs to you.

  47. Oh Corrie, I’m so very sorry. Sending you lots of love x

  48. Sending you lots of big hugs. Take care of yourself. xxx

  49. Hi Corrie, thank you for sharing this post. Very open and honest. You mentioned that it’s all part of having your family and this was something I had never really thought of before. Part and parcel of the process. Life. Its a positive way to look on the whole experience. Best wishes that you are back to feeling good very soon. Love the PS: Banjo so cute and not wht I would have expected :-) big hugs Jetts. xxxxxoooo

  50. Big hugs to you and your family. I am a regular reader but rarely comment as I am normally reading on the phone with 2 little kids around but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this experience and all your experiences. You have such a generous beautiful spirit.

  51. Thank you for sharing Corrie, I also had an early stages miscarriage, over 10 years ago. The only people who knew about it until recently were my husband and doctor. To this day I still think about the little child I almost had and what she would be like now. I wish I had shared my story, as at the time I felt so alone in my grief. Thank you for sharing yours. Be gentle with yourself, it’s hard to be as a busy mum, but you need to be.

  52. I’m so sorry :( Be kind and gentle with yourself over the coming weeks. I had 3 early miscarriages + one at 11 weeks before I had my first baby. The 11 week one was the hardest as I was very used to the idea of a new baby & we’d only just told family and close friends. I had to be admitted to hospital for that one, which was an ordeal in itself. But even the earlier losses were sad. I realised there was no use blaming myself, sometimes these things just happen. Like many others have said it is quite common, but not often talked about. You’re in my thoughts and prayers xx

  53. So sorry for your loss Corrie. While I have never had a miscarriage, I have lost two embryos that didn’t take for our first attempts at ivf. I know how quickly (even when you try to fight it) your mind starts planning and dreaming about the future for that little one. We call our bub Banjo as a nickname, we found out that he’d hung on & dug in for his life the day before Australia Day last year. I hope you get the time to rest and the kidlets give you lots of hugs and kisses. Thanks for sharing such a personal story.

  54. I feel for you! This is a very hard part of being a woman…

    for others- look into progesterone deficiency- I lost a baby at 20 weeks because of this (coupled with an autoimmune thing…)- so I supplemented with progesterone (and heparin) to stay pregnant with babies # 3 and 4

  55. So sorry Corrie…know that I,
    and so many of your readers are thinking of you and sending lots of hugs. I lost a baby between my first two beautiful children – I now have 4 gorgeous children (33 years ago now) and I still think about that precious baby.
    You wrote so openly and honestly, (about how we all feel when we have lost a little one and can’t put down into words)
    Your 5 precious children make up your beautiful family – you are so very lucky.
    hugs, Karin xxx

  56. I think you have done a great service to women who read your blog. I’m sorry for your loss and hope to fully recover soon. Hugs

  57. Thanks for sharing. I had an early miscarriage exactly 1 year ago & it was devastating. We already had 2 beautiful kids, but that doesn’t lessen the pain. The questions I asked myself essentially revolved around the why. Them the wondering – boy or girl? Followed by sadness, jealousy, anger of seeing other people pregnant, especially those due around the time our baby would have been born. A whole mixed bag of emotions.

    We conceived another baby who was born a few weeks ago. Love bubs to pieces, as our other kids too. Much love to you during this time and allow yourself the space and time to work through all the emotions.

  58. Oh Corrie, I don’t know what to say sweetie. Go easy and be kind to yourself. x

  59. deborah neill says:

    Hi Corrie, thanks for sharing, this is one of those topics that no one seems to like talking about but it is such a big thing in so many of our lives. I had two miscarriages after my third, two in two years, they were early as well 6 weeks and 8 weeks, and will never be forgotten for all the hopes and dreams they might have brought us! So sorry for your loss! I have had number 4 after a 7 year gap and feel blessed and complete. Mine required no medical intervention as they were complete but you get to the point of being over it all! Thinking of you all Corrie and sending Hugs! xxxxxx

  60. I think it’s so lovely of you to share.
    I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time at the moment.
    Be kind to yourself……
    Tania xx

  61. Brigette says:

    I adore your raw honesty. We all feel like we are part of your story, and our emotion and care for you is real. You create this beautiful sense of family and security with your posts. Wishing you rest and love over the next few days, and continuing on into the future. xxx

  62. Thank you so much for sharing this Corrie. Like many who have commented, we too lost a baby at 11 weeks in between our two beautiful girls. It happened on Christmas Day, the day after we told our family we were pregnant, and even though it happened 7 years ago now, there isn’t a Christmas that I don’t light a candle and think of that little baby that wasn’t quite strong enough to make it into the world. Take care of yourself, and allow the time to grieve for what might have been.

  63. Corrie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Early miscarriage is such a hidden cause of grief for many women. (Saying this, I just realised that my early miscarriage – two months before I fell pregnant with the boys – was only known about by my husband, and no-one else.)

    Thank you so much for sharing something so raw and personal.

  64. Thanks Corrie for being so open and honest. I wish I was a little more courageous. I have 7 lovely children and have had 3 miscarriages in my life. I’ve never really talked about it out loud because I was always scared of the reactions I would get. It’s funny how we worry about what others may say than actually caring about how we feel. My little lost ones are always in my heart. Take care of yourself and your beautiful family that you have been blessed with. Thinking of you………..

  65. Gerda Hosking says:

    So sorry, take some time to grieve.lots of hugs

  66. Corrie, thanks so much for your post as I think sharing and talking about this will help. I had an early miscarriage between babies 2 and 3, and it was the only pregnancy where I fell pregnant immediately and did not feel any nausea. Look after yourself and your gorgeous tribe.

  67. liveseygirl says:

    Praying for you and yours x

  68. Sarah (Splish Splash Designs) says:

    So sorry for the loss of your little one Corrie. You’re in my thoughts xx

  69. Emma Steendam says:

    Oh Corrie – thank you thank you thank you for writing this. It is SO important for us women to TALK about these things, it’s not talked about enough, swept under the carpet and behind closed doors. My husband and I are thinking about trying for our first baby, talking to several of my friends with kids I discovered every.single.one of them had had 1, 2 or 3 miscarriages the first time around. I had no idea. And I would’ve been shattered and thought ‘what is WRONG with me?!’ if I hadn’t have had those conversations with my friends. At least now I’m prepared.
    I’m so sorry for your loss, but like you said, everything happens for a reason. I’ll be praying you you and your family x

  70. lily may says:

    Hi Corrie, So sorry to hear about your loss. I actually just went through the same thing as you. I have a 16 month old daughter who took 4 years to join our family. I was so shocked when I took a test to discover I was pregnant – especially as we took clomid to get pregnant with DD. The new baby’s birth date was two weeks before our daughters and I just thought how perfect it would be to have two baby’s so close in age. We were so excited we told our parents after two days while we waited to see the obstetrician and then I started to bleed….I was so upset, even though it was only for a few days I had also dreamed of meeting our new baby and what it would be like to have two children. Feeling gratitude for my little girl but sadness too. Thinking of you x

  71. Sending you hugs. It’s amazing when you open up about miscarriages, how many of us have been through one or more. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, but not before I had already built up little hopes and dreams about a baby we didn’t get to meet. Jacinta x

  72. Christie says:

    Awwww big hugs honey….you are a brave one. I am sorry that you have lost a baby and all the sadness that goes with such a loss. Somehow I knew you weren’t done….something about it just didnt ring true? You are an amazing mother and have a lovely family whatever the future holds you will be good with it x

  73. So sorry to hear of your loss but good on you for sharing. A problem shared is a problem halved so they say. I couldn’t resist telling you that our first son was conceived (IVF implanted) on Australia Day back in 2007 and was sadly still born at 26 weeks – his name was Banjo :)

  74. Sending my condolences to you Retro Mummy and Retro Daddy on the loss of this very new life. Do take extra special care of yourself and each other.

  75. Caroline K says:

    Take care Corrie and family xxx

  76. Thank you for sharing your story and I send you and your husband the best of wishes. Give all your beautiful babies extra hugs and try to get some rest and look after yourself XOXO

  77. So sorry for your loss Corrie, but remember, when it does happen, every baby is a blessing and other’s people’s reactions or opinions are their problem. You have a beautiful family that you and Retro Daddy care for wonderfully and obviously love more than anything. Take care and rest up a bit if you can.

  78. So sorry to hear this and hope you feel better soon physically. A beautiful post even though I don’t like the outcome. Sending hugs and prayers your way!

  79. Thankyou for sharing Corrie.
    I too had an early miscarriage just recently and felt a mix of emotions- most of which I didn’t process well because I underplayed how sad I was as our friends had just given birth to their third child but it was stillborn. Your heads sweeps up in the excitement of it all and then has to quickly come back down and deal with the expectation loss you feel. A real positive I took away was that we were able to conceive naturally and quickly (only a month of trying) whereas my beautiful son took 18 long months and fertility help. It makes you hug your little cherubs so much harder xx

  80. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost a couple of babies too, after IVF. One in the first few days. The other after a few weeks. It was long enough to have planned everything out in my head and it’s the worst feeling. I mourned that baby for the entire length of the expeceted pregnancy, which wasn’t good. Losing a much wanted baby is so difficult to get over. If you need to see a counsellor I recommend it. I should have done that sooner. Take care of yourself.

  81. Melissa says:

    Dearest Corrie. I’m so sorry to hear such news yet also so very proud of you for being able to write so openly and honestly about a topic that seems to be so unspoken of. Wishing you live and strength. Each of your beautiful babies are nothing short of a miracle. I’m sure you’re hugging them all a little tighter xx

  82. Josephine says:

    I’m sad to hear that, Corrie. Your openness and honesty very much appreciated. I have 2 boys, and had one super-early miscarriage in-between them. While I recovered physically and emotionally relatively quickly, it’s amazing how fast you jump-in and think ahead to due dates, etc, just as you said! It’s always going to be a shock to the system, even when the loss is early. Big hugs coming your way.

  83. I am very sorry to read that. Big hugs but good on you for talking about it. It’s nice for others to know you/they are not the only one out there suffering and sad. Bad run here one year with early loss one mth, pregnant with twins straight after and then losing both at 9wks and 18 wks gestation respectively (that was super hard and ending up with c section to deliver my little boy who would have been at school now) but you know what, the positive is it really makes me appreciate the beautiful three I have with me now. All the best next time

  84. Natalie says:

    I am so sad for you Corrie. I am blessed with two beautiful children but I think about my angel baby every day.

  85. Am so sorry for your loss. We lost one early in a pregnancy. We were so excited and it was our first loss (we had already been blessed with a son a year before) and it was devastating. I also wondered what I’d done wrong, but my amazing hubby kept assuring me that it was not my fault, which made it much easier.
    Hope you’re all ok. This angel was obviously not ready to come to earth yet.

  86. lots of hugs from Argentina♥

  87. Dear Corrie, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, you have much love and support from all your readers. Sending love, prayers and hugs. Take care and try to rest xoxo

  88. I am so sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain, I have been there and I wish that no one had to go through a pregnancy loss. Take care of yourself!

  89. Mama of 2 boys says:

    Oh Corrie, what a heartbreaking thing to go through :( It was around this time last year when I had my miscarriage and I still believe it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. All the while feeling so grateful for the 2 lovely children I already have…but I don’t think it hurts any less. I really wanted our baby and whilst I’d always imagined what it might be like to lose a baby, the physical and emotional impact is just so great. I had no operation, so went through a full natural miscarriage, so painful, but I believe an important part of the horrible process.
    I too blogged about my experience, as part therapy for me and part reaching out to others who have been through it but felt alone or that they couldn’t talk about it.
    Very powerful unit the sisterhood can be when we share our triumphs and tragedies.
    A great big hug to you sweet girl and I have to say I am quietly excited for you, with the prospect of number 6 down the track. You’re an incredible, beautiful Mum xoxo

    http://anglix.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/dark-days.html

  90. Oh Corrie, I am so sorry for your loss. And thank you for being open about it and sharing it with us. Miscarriages are such a difficult thing to go through, even when they happen at the beginning. You are a strong, brave woman, my thought are with you. Big hugs xoxo

  91. Corrie i’m so sorry on this sad news. Take care of yourself, i can’t imagine the emotional loss you must be going through.

    Hugs

  92. Susan Leach says:

    So sorry to hear about the miscarriage you are brave to share this, but is a positive thing to do. Take care and find some time to rest and relax. Love to see the photos of your family. God bless you all.

  93. Hi Corrie,
    Thank you so much for this post. I too have had an ectopic pregnancy and last year I had a miscarriage ( 3 months of no period and full blown morning sickness) after 15 months of trying. Im so sorry that you have to go through this, just to let you know that we will be praying for you and your family. lots of hugs!

  94. You’ve had so many comments on this, I wonder if you’ll even read this…I’m sorry for your loss & even though it’s early, I’m sure it’s still a loss and a grief to go through. I lost my much wanted 3rd baby girl at 16 weeks last year. Was it really only last year? In one way it feels like yesterday & I feel like I shouldn’t still be grief stricken, in others it feels like forever ago. Yours is the only blog that was having a baby at the time (and there were suddenly many!) that I’ve been able to continue with. Due to our ages, we’ve decided no more for us, but I’m not fully accepting of that yet, I feel like our family is not quite complete. Yet at the same time I’m feeling grateful for the beautiful girls we have and I’m trying to build a business doing what I love. Thanks for sharing in such a straightforward way. Love to you and Retrodaddy (the often forgotten ones in all of this) x

  95. Hi Corrie,
    my love and sympathy to you, your husband and all your family.
    Did you choose a name for your little one? Heaven has a new saint to intercede for us all, and especially your family.
    God bless you and thank you for sharing

  96. Oh Corrie. Much love x

  97. Barbara says:

    Dear Corrie, I am one of these people who love reading your blog and never comment. But I want to let you know how sorry I am to hear about your miscarriage and that I think it’s so inspiring of you to put it in the blog. One of the saddest things about the two (quite early) miscarriages I had I always felt was that I had not told anybody about the pregnancies. So nobody ever knew that there were these two little “people” who never made it. So thank again for sharing! I feel you spoke for me and so many of us who have gone through this. I hope in all your busyness you do have the chance to look after yourself!
    Barbara

  98. Thank you for sharing this Corrie. I’m absolutely sure it will help so many other women. Take care of yourself
    Lots of love from across the Indian Ocean (I live in South Africa).
    Tracey

  99. Sandy Norman says:

    Dear Corrie. I am so sorry to read what has happen. I do hope you find time to rest.. I know it must be so hard with little ones around. Sending BIG HUGS to you…

    Sandyn

  100. Roksalanna says:

    Corrie,
    Sad to hear of your loss. Sending you best wishes and my thoughts. Very difficult when you have the joy and excitement of expectation and then the disappointment. Thanks for sharing.
    xo

  101. Thank you for sharing your story. I too have had three miscarriages, one stillbirth and finally a living breathing son to live here on earth with me. I love how you’ve put into words what many of us have felt. My heart goes out to you. May you be back on your feet soon.

  102. Corrie, much love from across the pond xxxx

  103. {Hugs} to you Corrie :(

  104. Corrie I am so sorry and saddened by your loss. We have a delightful 14month old daughter and lost a baby at around 7 weeks in January this year. Nothing can prepare you for it and it is a difficult thing to go through. You’ve been there before but people tell me that every time is different. Take your time and try to allow yourself space to heal. Even knowing you have your lovely children doesn’t fill the gap that this little one would have taken, but enjoy them and hug them extra close. Prayers for you. Xo

  105. I’m so sorry to hear the sad news.
    Never known, but never forgotten.

  106. Natalie Earl says:

    Oh Corrie, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Take some time out for yourself and lots of cuddles with your little darlings. xx

  107. Dear Corrie,
    I check your blog all the time and yet strangely don’t often comment but really wanted to say I am so sorry for what has happened and hope that you can get some rest. Like many of the women above I have also had a miscarriage. It is something I didn’t understand until I had experienced it and then felt terrible about how I handled the feelings of friends before me who had experienced a miscarriage. Mine was at 11 weeks, in between baby #2 and #3. I get such joy from seeing your little darlings and know that they will help with this.
    Thanks for your honesty-it is very bizarre that this is not talked about more considering the fact that miscarriage is so common. Regardless, it is a personal thing and each person deals with it differently. Go easy on yourself, big hugs from here. x Kim

  108. I’m so sorry to hear of your recent loss Corrie. I can’t imagine that pain. Xx

  109. Thank you for sharing with us all. Much love to you and your family xx

  110. I am sorry for your loss Corrie, Try and look after yourself and don’t over do things if you can .Hope you feel better soon x

  111. I agree, miscarriages aren’t talked about very much, but it is such a sad thing to go through and I think women need more support when facing it. I’m so sorry :( You’re right, it is a natural thing and you didn’t do anything to being it on. That little babe is being taken care of by God now and you’ll be with him or her one day.

  112. Beautifully written, hugs to you and your family

  113. My condolences. Hugs and prayers for you.

  114. Alexandra says:

    Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how many of us go through this. I have endometriosis and have 3 gorgeous kids. Getting pregnant should have been difficult for me. But it was staying pregnant that was difficult. So I know how you feel. I share what I have gone through so that it is not a hidden thing and gives comfort to those who may be going through it for the first time.
    Lets stick together and not sugarcoat what is perfectly normal and your body deciding what is right for it and the baby right now.
    take care…..and at least a little easier for now!! :)

  115. I’m so sorry Corrie. There aren’t words to express the sadness the loss of a baby brings. I hate it when a blogger that I love experiences a rough patch or goes through something distressing, but thank you for once again being brutally honest with your audience and sharing with us something that must be hard for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  116. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss..
    Unfortunatelly, i know what it is.
    Take care of yourself!

  117. Jantine Urban says:

    A miscarriage is always a said thing, even if you have a family already, this baby was welcome too! On the other hand… I am glad you have a family and you are happy with it and I am sure if God wants you to have another baby, it will come at His time!

  118. Corrie you are so so so brave. Thank you so much for sharing this story, for young women like me these stories don’t get passed around at dinner parties, but its the kind of situation we need to be educated about. Thank you for being brave enough to be a testimony of strength and courage. x

  119. That’s really sad. Thank you for sharing with us and I pray that your story may help someone out there. I’m starting a family this year and this is one of my biggest fears.

  120. Thanks for sharing what so many of us go thru. So wonderfully written with such beautiful photos to match :)

  121. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  122. Thanks for sharing your pain. I too have had 4 miscarriages. But im trying my hardest to focus on what i do have. I have a beautiful 20 month old girl. She makes me so happy, so much so that i want many more babies.

    I dont have the strength in me to even want to try again, so im going to not bother anymore. Im done with the heartache and tears.

    Thanks again for sharing this, hugs to you for being brave xo

  123. Kirstin Hansch says:

    Thank you for writing this Corrie. I have just been through the same thing. Mine happened on Good Friday so Easter had a bit of a sad tinge to it this year. I am glad it happened when it did though, I can’t imagine how hard it would be if it was further on.

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