Well yesterday I saw my OB for the 1st time (well for this pregnancy since I know him, his secretaries and his offices pretty well by now) and I’m happy to report that baby number 5 is growing and doing well. I’m measuring spot on for my dates and even got a little photo of our newest addition. Awwwwww. I think little one has it’s back to me.
I hate to tell any first time mothers out there but the nerves and worry don’t go away the more babies you have. Sometimes I can make myself feel sick in the stomach worrying if there is a heartbeat and is the baby ok and will it be ok and has anything happened since my last appointment.
But I never take anything for granted. I felt the luckiest girl in the world yesterday knowing that my baby was doing well. For those of you who haven’t been on this blog for long then let me tell you that the road to having our family hasn’t been easy. As a newlywed (I love that word) it was discovered that I didn’t ovulate and wouldn’t be able to fall pregnant on my own. For someone who wanted to fall pregnant on their honeymoon (me, not retro daddy as he wanted to wait a year) it was devastating. I took Chlomid and fell pregnant with keira on my 5th month. There were so many tests and scans in between.
the twins (tillie on the left and finn on the right)
When Keira was 6 months old we started trying again, on the 4th month we fell pregnant but a few weeks later we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy which was sadly removed with one of my tubes. Another devastating blow. I cried and cried and cried some more. The kindest words that were said to me at the time were by our priest. The gorgeous Father Jim. He said, it’s ok to go to God and be angry in prayer. It’s ok. It’s normal. That is how I felt. Why me? Why did you do this to us. I knew I wanted a large family and after that I just thought it would never happen. My OB told me that it would happen and I could easily fall pregnant with one tube. Turns out he was right.
Back on the fertility drug again and on our 3rd month we got a positive, on new years eve 2007 we found out it was twins. Some people cry in shock when they find out they are having twins. We were both overjoyed. It was the best news we could receive. If the ectopic pregnancy hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t have fallen pregnant with the twins. Then when the twins were almost 2, I just knew I wanted another baby and couldn’t bear to think about using contraception. I had a regular cycle and just left it to nature. We fell pregnant but miscarried a few weeks later. I was sad but realised that we could do this on our own. The next month I fell pregnant with Elodie.
dear little elodie
And then look, it happened again. I love Elodie so much and when we weren’t trying or thinking about baby number 5 another little miracle came along. So you see, I don’t take anything for granted. I will always feel that I have been blessed with babies. It hasn’t been an easy journey and my heart always goes out to anyone trying for a baby because I know it’s not easy. And my journey is nothing compared to some of you. But never give up! However it happens, whatever paths you take and however it long it will take to have a family, it will always be worth it.